we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
