actually, I'm a sock model
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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