I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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