we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
