He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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