my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
