we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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