Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
