then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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