Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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