so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Drunk is a universal language darling
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