there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
