i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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