i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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