What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
