I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
