Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
God I need to hump something, right now.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
