Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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