After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
