also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
