Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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