Who did Billy Mays play for?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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