I think im going to throw up on grandma
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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