he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
