as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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