mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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