Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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