He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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