Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
