you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
