is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm too high and old for this...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
