So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
