one word: firstdatebathroomanal
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
