As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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