Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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