I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Also, beer. Big fan.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
