Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
