HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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