Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
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I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
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That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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