why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
