To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
