What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I deserve this hangover.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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