My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
