I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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