She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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