You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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