So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he told me I talked like a deaf person
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
