i don't like sucking hair
Please, let me fuck your mom
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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