I threw up into my coffee this morning.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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