Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
God I need to hump something, right now.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
