Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
