im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
