I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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