Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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