found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We left an ass print on the piano.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
