I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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