Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
